A common buzz word these days is BALANCE. Our success in life seems to be based on how well we manage to balance the many areas of our life: professional opportunities, parenting, healthy lifestyle, financial preparedness, and an amazing intimate connection with our partner. Apparently we can have it all, if we can just find balance.
While that sounds really good, I believe the reality is that most of us are off balance in one way or another – and that’s ok! We all have our areas of life where we get stuck, and being ‘stuck’ makes balance difficult to achieve. When we’re stuck, we tend to get down on ourselves which then leads to excuses and avoidance and ultimately eroded confidence. This eroded confidence is the key.
Instead of BALANCE, what would be possible if you started focusing on CONFIDENCE instead? The truth is that ‘stuff’ happens that throws us off balance – this is inevitable. If we work on noticing our confidence level, we effectively work on strengthening our confidence muscle. Confidence unlike balance is something that we have the power to control and increase.
Instead of being focused on this unachievable idea of ‘life balance’, concentrate on your confidence as the true measure of how well you are doing. Try this:
1. Identify five areas of your life and on a scale of 1-10 identify your confidence level in each area. An example of 5 areas might be work, family life, health, caretaking elderly parent and personal finances.
2. Star the areas that are coming up 5 or less on the confidence scale.
3. Reflect on what erodes your confidence in these 5 or less areas.
4. When we get right down to it, a lack of confidence is really about fear. So, ask yourself this (thinking about the areas above where you scored 5 or less) – what am I afraid of in this area of my life?
5. Think about the score you would give yourself in these areas if you could conquer your fear, and as a result had all the confidence in the world.
6. Face the fear and you will build your confidence.
Learn how to stretch and strengthen your confidence muscle, and suddenly balance will no longer be such a big deal. Read more about exercising your confidence muscle here.